For some, memorializing a loved one through body art can be therapeutic after experiencing the death of a friend or family member.
WOODBRIDGE TWP. -- Angela Brown still remembers the day Ashlyn Ferriero died.
It was a Tuesday afternoon -- June 19, 2007 -- when 12-year-old Ferriero, a student at Avenel Middle School in Woodbridge, was killed after being struck by an NJ Transit train near the Avenel station.
The incident devastated classmates. But nearly nine years later, Brown, a 22-year-old from South Plainfield, is still reminded of Ferriero frequently, through the tattoos across the tops of her feet.
"We did ballet together for 10 years," Brown, who has about 50 tattoos, said, looking down at the artwork. Her right foot displays a yellow rose with the words, "Stay Young." The left shows pink ballet shoes, the black text reading, "Go Dancing."
"It's nice to know it's there, ya know?" she asked.
Brown is one of many people who memorialize a friend or family member through body art, inking a joyful memory, portrait or name into their skin.
It varies per person -- who they celebrate, what they get, where they get it, how long after a death they wait to get it -- tattoo artists across the state said Tuesday. But all agreed, receiving a tattoo in honor of a loved one generally helps with the grieving process.
"It shows how important that person is to them," said Dave Nyegaard, who has worked at Tattooville in Linden for about 10 years.
Nyegaard, a 32-year-old from Belleville who himself has ink up and down his arms and legs, some of which is for his deceased mother and sister, said he has had customers come in asking to get work done the same day a friend or family member dies. He'll talk through what they want, often discouraging people from getting birth and death date tattoos.
"They did so much more than live and die," Nyegaard said. "Why not get something you'll remember them by, like that person's favorite flower?"
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For Patrick Anderson, the skin covering his heart is inked with a skull wearing a helmet, the words "Hell In A Helmet" slanted above it. It's in remembrance of friends he lost while serving two deployments in Afghanistan. He got the art on April 12, 2015, three years after his friend Tarwoe Abraham, a native of Liberia who joined the armed forces in 2009, passed away.
"It's another part of me that's bigger than me," said Anderson, a 25-year-old from Clinton.
The process of getting a tattoo is more significant for some who have lost loved ones than the actual tattoo itself, said Kim Benevento, who has owned Inner City Tattoo in Elizabeth since 2012.
The pain of receiving the ink helps them forget about the death, even if just for a short period of time. They also have to care for the body art, washing it thoroughly and applying ointment to keep it hydrated. The person may feel sore for days after the needle punctures their skin. Some will limp, depending on where he or she gets the artwork.
This undertaking can be therapeutical, Benevento, a 38-year-old from Staten Island, said, because it is a distraction from what the person is mourning.
"It is painful, so it makes you focus on the now," Benevento said in her second-floor shop on Elizabeth Avenue, which has walls covered in framed tattoo designs.
As hip-hop played in the background, Benevento estimated about 75 percent of her body is tattooed, some of which are characters from the comic strip, TV show and film "The Peanuts Movie" for her father Steve Allen, who she said died of stomach cancer in 2010 at the age of 56. Benevento grew up watching "The Peanuts Movie." It was her parents' thing, which "eventually became my thing," she said.
Benevento often hears sorrowful stories while giving remembrance tats. She'll listen to people reminisce about their lost elders and children. She's worked on women who have suffered miscarriages, honoring the infant they never held through angel-like artwork.
This all creates a bond between the artist and the customer, Benevento said. In a way, it's similar to "hazing with a sorority or fraternity," she said, in that the artist is guiding the person through what can be a difficult time.
"You're going through a traumatic event together," she said of inking people who are mourning. "You're telling them to breathe and be seated, so there has to be a trust."
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At Tattoo Tribe in Newark, 30-year-old Miguel Prada, who said he took over the business several years ago, guessed about 30 to 40 percent of his customers come in for memorial tattoos.
One of those patrons is Danny Rivera, a 41-year-old from Jersey City, who got "Flaco," a nickname his brother went by, tatted on the outside of his right leg. The art is an image of praying hands, holding purple rosary beads, above his sibling's birth and death dates.
Asked about when his brother died, Rivera took a moment to think, then reached for his pant leg.
"See, that's why some people get those tattoos," Prada said, chuckling.
He died April 25, 2006, Rivera was reminded.
As for Prada, he remembers his customers well.
During an interview in his shop on Jefferson Street, Prada spoke of the customer who got a tattoo for the grandparents he never met. He talked of the son, an only child, whose father died when he was young, and got a crying eyeball tattoo. The conservative grandmother, "who would've never considered getting a tattoo," who got one for her deceased grandchild. The client who got a portrait of a loved one before that person passed, so he could "share it with them."
He recalled the Jersey City teacher who got a tattoo of somewhat immortal characters Jack Skellington and Sally from the 1993 film "The Nightmare Before Christmas." The woman's daughter later told Prada she had died. The girl got a cross with her mother's name in yellow coloring, to "make it look gold."
"It always makes me happy to see when tattoos help people overcome hard times," Prada said. "You don't have to go to a place, like you would a cemetery, and pray -- it's just always on you."
Luke Nozicka may be reached at lnozicka@njadvancemedia.com. Follow him on Twitter @lukenozicka. Find NJ.com on Facebook and Twitter.
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