How a retired grandmother from the Jersey Shore helped Rutgers University land the first commencement address from a sitting president in its 250-year history. Watch video
PISCATAWAY -- How did a retired grandmother from the Jersey Shore help Rutgers University land the first commencement address from a sitting president in the school's 250-year history?
It's simple, Dianne Totten said. The 70-year-old grandmother of the outgoing Rutgers student government president sent a kindly-worded message to the White House, not once, not twice, but three times, she said.
"It was really very short, very direct," Totten said Monday from her home in Highlands. "I felt that it really can't hurt to try."
She was right.
Many schools ask President Barack Obama to speak at their commencement ceremonies each year, but Rutgers was the first to launch a three-year campaign, including emails, tweets and YouTube videos, Obama said.
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"I even got three notes from the grandmother of your student body president," Obama said during his commencement speech. "I have to say that really sealed the deal. That was smart because I have a soft spot for grandmas."
To top off the magnificent day for Totten, the president complimented her grandson, Matthew Panconi, on his own speech and hugged the graduating senior as he left the stage.
"How much more sterling can it get?' Totten said Monday, admitting she hadn't stopped smiling for 24 hours.
And her reaction to Obama's shout out to her in front of more than 50,000 people?
She just couldn't believe what she was hearing, she said.
"That was really weird," she added.
Whether having sleepovers with her grandchildren or cheering on their sports teams at South Brunswick High School, Totten has always considered spending time with her four grandchildren to be the joy of her life, she said.
"If there is something that I can do to make their life better, I will do it," she said.
So when Panconi told his grandmother about Rutgers' campaign to convince Obama to speak, she decided she would write the president a letter, she said.
Totten didn't keep copies of the messages she sent because she submitted them through a form on the White House's website, rather than sending them through email or mail, she said.
But she said he remembers that she made a few key points:
- Obama should speak at Rutgers because it's one of the oldest colleges in America.
- The letter writer is the grandmother of the university's student government president.
- It would be awesome for the graduates to hear the president tell them what America is all about.
The second and third messages were similar to the first, Totten said. She sent them because she had not heard back from the White House and wanted to make sure the president had received her request, she said.
"I wasn't keeping track, but she told me every time she sent him a letter," Panconi said. "She would call me and she would ask if I heard from him yet."
Neither Totten nor Panconi heard from Obama, and Rutgers named journalist Bill Moyers as its commencent speaker in April, seemingly bringing an end to hopes that Obama would speak.
But, a week later, the White House announced Obama was coming, the first in a series of surprises for Panconi.
The next surprise came days before commencement, when Rutgers informed Panconi that his address as the student speaker was being moved up in the ceremony because Obama wanted to hear it before he left.
Then, Obama mentioned both Panconi and his grandmother's letters in his own 40-minute address.
"Matthew, good job," Obama said at the outset of his speech. '"If you are interested, we can talk after this."
Panconi tried to shake Obama's hand as Obama left the stage, but the president pulled him in for hug and told Panconi he was proud of him, Panconi said.
"It was really just a completely surreal experience," Panconi said.
Totten was in tears after watching her grandson speak for the graduating class.
After the ceremony ended and the crowd filed out of High Point Solutions stadium, Panconi met his grandmother near the top of the bleachers and posed for a picture.
"I love my grandmother," he said Monday. "I know that she will always be there for me."
Adam Clark may be reached at adam_clark@njadvancemedia.com. Follow him on twitter at @realAdamClark. Find NJ.com on Facebook.