Journey inside two of our four finalists for best craft brewery honors
Bringing Sexy Bock. Thong Remover Tripel. Monkey Breath Banana Bread. Crusty Barnacle. Mop Water Spiced Ale. Stupid Paddle Boat.
Brewers seem to have as much fun coming up with beer names than actually brewing the stuff, even if many labels seem the product of prolonged drinking sessions.
Did I mention Cape May Brewing's Turtle Gut? Fortunately, it involves neither turtles nor guts.
At Demented Brewing in Middlesex, one of the Final Four in our search for N.J.'s best craft brewery, most of the seven deadly sins were covered on the menu board during our weekend visit: Envy, Sloth, Pride, Gluttony and Lust, a chickory stout, milk stout, dry Irish stout, coffee stout and chocolate stout, respectively,
@petegenovese Who thinks up these brewery names?
-- David S (@djs495) April 1, 2017
@djs495 @petegenovese The owners ;)
-- Twin Elephant Brew (@twin_elephant) April 1, 2017
The names are just cute wrapping paper; it's what inside the box, or glass, that counts. And the increasing numbers of craft beer drinkers are only too happy to talk beer at brewery tasting rooms. You can order a flight or a pint, but there any resemblance to a sports bar or neighborhood bar or any other kind of bar ends.
You don't go to a craft brewery to watch a game; there are almost never any TVs. You don't go there to listen to band; there aren't even any jukeboxes.
You go there to kick back with an APA or IPA and talk suds with fellow craft brew lovers. Babies and dogs are welcome, and a certain level of beer nerdiness is acceptable.
"My wife thinks I'm too obsessed with beer,'' says Rich Goglia, inside Twin Elephant Brewing in Chatham, another of the Final Four in our search for N.J.'s best craft brewery. "I just love the stuff. We're in a beer golden age. There are so many different breweries, and everyone's (making) something different.''
There are 83 craft breweries and brew pubs in New Jersey, and unanimity on the best is not easy to come by. Mention a highly-rated brewery on Untappd, a popular app where you can rate beer, and you're as likely to get as many grimaces as grins.
"Kane (Brewing Co., Ocean Township), and it's not even close,'' went a typical comment when we revealed our Final Four. "They're not just the best in NJ, they can legitimately hold their own against world-class breweries.''
"Kane is a one-trick pony,'' countered another reader. "All their beers have similar hop profile. They make outstanding anniversary ale but overall they don't impress.''
It'll be a thankless job picking a winner among our Final Four, but indeed I will do that on Friday, when we live stream from the winning brewery. You can watch it live on nj.com.
Twin Elephant's tasting room is one of the more original and convivial tasting rooms in the state; the woodwork is all salvage, including 350 pallets and the remains from a friend's bar. An architect friend of owners Scott McLuskey, Tim Besecker and Cindy DeRama spent every weekend for eight months at the brewery -- sleeping on a couch overnight -- helping with the design. Where did they find the pallets?
"We just ran around, picked them up,'' Besecker explained.
In our Final Four round, I'm sampling six beers at each brewery. My favorites at Twin Elephant: Clincher, a pale ale, and Common Heritage, a hoppy saison.
DEMENTED BREWING, MIDDLESEX
Owner Tom Zuber was not at Demented when we stopped by; he and Demented staffers were at the Atlantic City Beer Festival, where Demented won the best flavored beer category for its Astarte strawberry cream ale.
There was a Warren County contingent inside the brewery, including Paul Gormly and Aaron DePack, who was awed by that Astarte. "Very sweet, tastes good,'' he said, then smiled. "I don't even know how to describe beer.''
John Himelrich of Piscataway said his favorite Demented brew is Orcus, a wee heavy (a style of beer distinguished by sweet malt flavor and aroma) aged in Scotch barrels.
"Unbelievable,'' Himelrich said. "Kind of a heavy malty smoky beer. I like a small glass after dinner.''
Demented lives up to its slogan: "Insanely Flavorful Ales.'' A recent offering was Grim Reaper, brewed with Carolina reaper peppers, the world's hottest chile pepper.
My favorite beers here: Beowulf porter, Lust chocolate stout.
Peter Genovese may be reached at pgenovese@njadvancemedia.com. Follow him on Twitter at @PeteGenovese or via The Munchmobile @NJ_Munchmobile. Find the Munchmobile on Facebook and Instagram.